I'm Passionate about Sushi- you?

I'll begin by apologizing for not writing for far too long. Old habits are creeping in and I can feel myself giving in to the indiscipline but I promise I'm doing my best to stay above water. It's 24 days into the new year and I know you're probably struggling too, but it's a journey and as long as you keep moving forward it means you're getting closer, you're on your way to 'somewhere'. Let's talk a little bit about passion, motivation, understanding self and all those boring things which get lost along Everyday Existence. I'm extremely passionate about sushi but my parents won't ever take me. Ever. I mean I'm old enough to pick up and go there but there's something about a parents opinion that just weighs on your decisions so heavily that you find yourself most times avoiding the subject all together. You're probably wondering where I'm going with all this but I promise I'll get to it... Eventually...

Right, ok, Point- So from where I'm standing, I'm starting to realize most people have jobs - specifically a place they are disgruntled to be for 8 hrs a day, sucking their teeth, swearing under their breaths for 28 days a month to collect a pay check after an exhausting drawn out 30 days to then repeat the cycle as the new month reels in.  . Most people have bills to pay and are left without passion just going through the motions trying to make ends meet. It's a sad reality but a prevalent one from one continent to the next. Do some reflection at this junction and ask yourself
"when did I decide to settle?"
"what made me settle?"
"am I comfortable with this current situation?"
"Do I want more?"
" Is this enough?"

This is where you have to be honest with yourself, allowing yourself to let go of what's keeping you from reaching the heights that you want to get to even if you begin on paper it's your first step to liberation. We are held back not only because we have dire circumstances which hinder us from becoming more progressive and fulfilled but because we are complacent. We want more, so we wait for more to find us. When has it ever worked that way? I'm constantly telling you things you already know, however, we all need a little reinforcement some days. Find your passion, Invest in yourself, Make the sacrifices, Serve yourself, Be selfish when you need to, Do it for YOU! Not for anyone else but yourself. The bills will always arrive on time unlike your salary, the boss will breathe down your back like he ordered you from China, but the day you find that passion and you begin to live what you envisioned for yourself, you'll be unstoppable. Find what sets your soul on fire and like Nelson Mandela said " There is no passion to be found playing small- in settling for the life that is less than the one you are capable of living." GO GET YOURSELF SOME DAMN SUSHI. YOU'LL BE HAPPY I PROMISE.

A Sprinkle of Chopped Parsley & Voila

Ahh yes, it's the end of a long day and I do encourage you to pause walk to the fridge and get yourself a glass of wine. Sit it next to your bedside it's relaxing I tell ya. Take a nice long sniff, let those aromas hit you, then sip. It's an art form, wine drinking.

Ok so I'm not here to talk about wine but rather I'd like to talk a little about you. I'd like to begin by telling you I understand how you feel sometimes when you hit those low notes, the feelings of being stuck having no vision of the future, not knowing what to do next, the anxiety, the fear, the indecisiveness, the lack of motivation. The list is long and I'm sure I could go on for a little while longer but you're intelligent and must have gotten the point before I even got to it myself. Some days you can't see beyond the days end or the weeks end, your plans are limited and you haven't the least bit of care, in the back of your mind lets face it you're doomed anyway. At least that's what you've been telling yourself anyway. But get this, not too long ago I made an observation perhaps something everyone else already knew but it only then hit me and I need to share it. Whether it makes sense or not, I hope what little tale it tells whispers loudly enough to you so that you too get the revelation.
Right I'm losing track of myself but here : Have you ever noticed how all seasonings come from shrubs, tiny plants, vines and small trees BUT they pack the BOLDEST flavors and can create aromas which can overpower any space in which they are used? It's an amazing revelation! So get this- Spices enhance and entice the senses sending waves of emotions surging through the body, chili peppers pack just the right amount of heat to awaken your taste buds, cinnamon literally warms your soul, a pinch of turmeric and you can feel the blood rushing through your veins, Spices bring you to life. Unfortunately, they're not big and mighty and I'm almost certain if one of these shrubs fell in the forest, it's possible that the ants crawling on the ground right below wouldn't hear its impact. It's like going back to the mustard seed metaphor and how tiny it is yet having faith that little could change your scope forever. Seriously, have you seen a mustard seed?! Google it. It's impossibly tiny and you're thinking now, but I have faith don't I? I have more faith than a tiny mustard seed- wrong.

 But you and I both know it packs quite the punch and I wouldn't doubt its impact either because it does make a statement sitting there on a hot dog all zigzaggy, tangy, spicy and pickled all in the same breath. That's a lot of flavor for a tiny seed isn't it? EXACTLY. Right now, you are this mustard seed, you are that last sprinkle of chopped parsley that gets added to enhance the dish. You're holding back however, you're hiding in the ground, you're refusing to sprout, to break the top soil and poke your head out just a bit so that you can bloom. You mightn't be big and mighty, you might not have the greatest talent but you have a God given talent which you have to season the world with. Within each and everyone of us is a different spice, I can't bring to the pot what you are, but together we can fill the air with bold aromas. Get up, push yourself forward, take that leap, all it takes is a little bit of faith but it all comes from within you. Moreover, have you noticed how everything just brightens up with a sprinkle of parsley, a touch of chili and a pinch of cinnamon?! :)

Sipping on Silk Menage Trois at a Theatrical Facade

As the rain beats down the galvanize roof, I curl up under the covers consumed with the days happenings, the arguments I had no rebuttals for which I am now prepared to take on the next time it rolls around, the phone call which never came, the tasks I left undone because I was multi tasking and frankly forgot as the hours ticked by. I'm lying in bed  exhausted from today's events and simply wishing I could press a button to retirement, I'm running on bad vibes and pessimism but I let it simmer just enough to feel like I have the most difficulties to contend with. Tomorrow I can tell everyone just how tired I am, I couldn't get a wink of sleep yes- I'll be relevant tomorrow my gal pals n the guys will definitely relate, I'll start the conversation and remain relevant all day. Perhaps I'll even catch a bit of pity, I thrive on it.  

You go through the day topping up everyone's conversation with a little tit and tat like a quenching sip of Menage Trois Silk wine. A bit of exaggerated laughter, you text and keep in touch with your faves, a few random emojis just to let everyone know you see them, you're keeping up with their posts, you are enviable. You're admired. As the day draws in its black grand drape, the play is over and the theater seats are once again empty, you sit alone in the dress circle tilting your head to the left and to the right as if trying to make meaning of the theaters emptiness. You hadn't paid close enough attention, the audience came and left, you put on a grand show and it was a good show.... but what now? I see you searching the walls in vain, why didn't anybody stay and talk a little about tonight's display, weren't you deep and far reaching or theatrical enough? 

So many questions, you hit that mental google refresh button over and over until it lulls you to sleep.

The sun pulls down the black drapes it's a whole new scene, but you're auditioning an old performance. You haven't had the time to practice a new routine, you weren't ready, you've been busy helping the other individuals. Right now on your resume you could insert " personal friend, shopper, adviser and shoulder to cry on. But here's the thing, yes you deserve a pat on the back maybe even a blimp to let everyone know just how helpful you are. STOP. 

How are you sharing all this energy with everyone else and keeping none of it for yourself? How is it fathomable that someone should be this popular yet feel lonely at nights? How does someone with so many friends feel lonely? Answer me truthfully

Have you loved yourself today? All of you, your mental health, your image, your positivism, your flaws. Have you forgiven your mistakes or are you beating yourself up over them? Have you reflected and meditated on your blessings? Have you read a new motivational book or started chasing a goal? Have you sharpened your mind? What have you done for yourself by yourself to help yourself be your greatest self ?

It's a simple concept but a difficult one to grasp, Spend time with yourself, get to know yourself, be kind to yourself or soon no one will visit your sad, lonely theatricals and you'll be left in the grand circle or top balcony of the theater and no one to share its marvelous plays with. 

On the Fence of Chocolate and Vanilla ice-cream

You've tried it time and time again but never long enough to reap the results of true dedication, hard work and perseverance yet you deceive yourself into thinking that this time, things just might be different. You begin with great visions and aspirations, you set those goals and you're determined to achieve them, this is your time and nothing is going to stop you. Yes, that speech is rehearsed. You've been doing it every year for the last two to five years, its become routine, you've mastered it, by now you should have that car, the house with the pool, the apartment or condo you've been eyeing since the site was going through ground breaking phases, the handsome man you dress up for every Sunday hoping he'll catch a glimpse of your too white teeth and scarlet lips. So you're reflecting now, it's all so puzzling, you did everything right..right? You replay the scenes over and over finding the exact moment where you let it fall through the cracks, decided that it was too late to join the gym you'll never get that summer body in time to show it off or decided that more qualified persons would have applied for that job you so badly wanted so you gave up before trying. You see where you've fallen off your wagon so now you begin formulating the excuses, because how else will you justify and convince yourself that you did or didn't do all those things with solid reason! You're on the defensive and you've found your conviction! HA! You're ready to face those obstacles this time around there's nothing standing in your way, you're motivated, committed and enthusiastic like you've never been before, you can literally feel the blood rushing through your veins, you've never felt this adrenaline pump before, right now you're invincible, unstoppable, you're here to win! Fireworks paint the skies in the hues of a floral forest. Your spirit rides the clouds, soaring on the fiery tops of the sparks below, the glasses clink in unison, the dance floor draws you in, strangers become friends as bodies rise and fall together in sync with the nights music, cheers to the dawn of a New Beginning.

January 1st, 2019. Yes, you write out the whole word because that's just the whole new person you're becoming, you're walking around with that green smoothie, two extra pumps in your step a little practice for this afternoons gym session even though you haven't walked further than your couch to your bed all year. Today you eat at exactly 12 pm, you've never been more impressed with yourself as you are at this exact moment, your mom would be so proud of you right now, eating broccoli stalks and sauteed chicken breast. Yes indeed, You've out done yourself today, you bag that workout session, boom! This time around you know you're hardcore, you know it's your time to glow up. You keep this up for an entire week, the routine works, you've tested it out you're liking this new you.

It's been seven whole days, you deserve that treat, you've worked so hard at this new person that you're determined to become this year. You've disciplined yourself more than you have in months perhaps years, you know that you can jump back on the wagon anytime you fall off, you're once again convinced that you got this. But You Don't Got This. You just don't know it yet but here it comes. Rewind- Ok, so you treat yourself to that double cheese burger, some ice cream and a soda, you get home and watch tv till bedtime and now it's ZzzZZZZZzzz time. It's 3 am, you lost track of time, those seven days of discipline  really did a number on you, you hadn't realized you missed so many episodes of your favorite show.
Morning rolls around and you can't get out of bed, you're exhausted from the nights events, you drag yourself to the shower, and now who has time for breakfast? Definitely not you, you're running late anyway. The old habits creep in slowly, you're falling but you can't help it, its comforting, you miss it. It doesn't require much thought, there is no need for all that discipline and restriction, you're back to living your best life.

Now you're on the fence, just one more time wondering how to be both. You want to become that new person, you want to lose weight, start a business, sleep on time, be focused and productive, you so badly want this.... But you hold on to the fence for dear life. You live for those late nights with Netflix and popcorn in bed, the long weekends of no responsibility, binge drinking and watching the sun get high up in the sky before you leave the party. You, love comfort, I mean who doesn't, so you find a reason to stay in this relationship, just you and those dirty habits and a dangerous love affair. The Ex who keeps texting you to say he'll treat you better, he'll always be there for you, those empty promises you just live for, because you're too comfortable to let go. And so you stay, in comfort, hidden and tucked away in that teenage blanket of carefree habits and a future built on fantasy. Only 265 days to go anyway, I can start again next year. I'll be ready then, I'll do better then, I'll make those changes, I'll make them slowly, I'll do a little of both, like chocolate vanilla ripple, a taste of both right? You're convinced you've found the right balance sitting atop that fence.

I must inform you, one flavor always overpowers the other, balance does not lie within that ice cream tub. You'll never forge that new path if you keep taking the same route. Get off the fence, it's time to decide whether you become that person or stay that person.